The Working Women

I have a question to pose to all the women out there, both young and old. How do you balance or plan to balance the work-family balance?
Now, as a female engineer (electrical at that), I know I am a minority. I know I face more challenge for equality and opportunities in the future in my male-dominated profession, but that is a battle I am willing to take on. I knew about the challenges I was facing for being an Electrical Engineer, but the one issue that has surprisingly captivated my attention is the Work-Family balance.
When I think about trying to balance working full time and running a household, I start panicking. I, like many of my generation (those in their 20’s) want both a family and career. I was raised by a strong-willed and devoted working mother, and a working father who does household chores without being asked. Yet, I also know that I am an only child, and not even one they had to worry about a lot. I like to think I am independent and records show I did well in school. They, being immigrant parents, did not help me with homework. They did, however, take me to my math and piano classes (like most devoted and doting Asian parents). They devoted their Friday nights and Saturday mornings to my classes, and I am forever thankful to them for that.
However, I ask how the heck I am going to do for my kids what they did for me. I plan, and hope, to have more than one child, which means there will be an even greater time commitment. Throw in the fact that I work in a competitive male environment, where my colleagues will stay late to finish projects, makes me question just how I will do all I need to do in 24 hours a day. (And I LOVE sleeping…). I mean, my hours are not flexible, and I really can’t work from home. So what should I do? Sacrifice my career for my children’s? Or not be the mother I want to be, so I can be the Engineer?
The examples of working female engineers I have personally met are not inspiring hope. I was at a Women in Engineering talk a few months ago, and this very dedicated and driven female engineer was giving the talk. She’s a successful consultant, who owns her own company, has spare time to travel…etc. She gave us all these tips on how to succeed in the male dominate work place, and have a successful career. Yet, in the Q&A, she revealed that she’s on Husband 2.0 and does not have kids. I understand that she as an individual did not want kids and chose not to have any, but what are the rest of us to do? She played by the boy’s rules, and worked long and hard hours to earn respect and reputation in her field. Further examples are the two women in my group. One older one has children, and the younger does not. Now, when I say younger, I mean 30 years old, which isn’t old, but isn’t that young either. The younger one has no plans to have children soon, and the older one gets here super early everyday so she can be home for her school-aged children. However, she has no prospects of advancing her career currently as she does not take on challenging projects and takes more time off compared to her male counterparts.
How about a house hubby? Hm? That sounds enticing no? My dad stayed home on and off throughout my school years as he did consulting, when he was home, he would do everything from the cooking to the cleaning to the shopping. But when he worked, my mom had to step up again and do the cooking…etc. The balance there, of course, was money and family. He couldn’t stay home all the time because we could not afford the lifestyle we wanted, plus, he likes working. Which brings us to another point; most husbands don’t want to be a house husband. Most males I know, enjoy making lots of money, preferably more than their wives. Maybe I should find a guy who can work from home? Or don’t mind being a house hubby? Hm…food for thought. Which professions can work from home?
So the question remains. How do you balance it? Or are you just choosing which one is more important to you and neglecting the other? Do you have a house husband =) ?